Tuesday November 4th 2008.

On this momentous day in U.S history, the Batties commence their autumn tour of the states with a plan; a cunning plan.

Our first concert is tomorrow at the Barns at Wolf trap in Vienna, Virginia – a suburb of Washington D.C. So today, election day in the states, we plan to arrive at four o’clock in the afternoon eastern standard time which gives us just enough time to suffer a bit of commuter traffic and take the train downtown where we will meet our man in Havana, Dr. Nancy, for martinis and a watching of the ensuing election. This was to be a riot one way or another.

Unfortunately, there was a problem en route in Amsterdam. Apparently there was substantial fog which created a situation where all the flight allotments were spread out so that hundreds of people – ourselves included – missed their international connections. It has since been revealed that the source of this “fog” was a group of wayward Freisians at the back of the freight terminal who had decided to skin up and smoke out the whole of Schiphol. So, instead of giving it large in D.C. at tea-time, we were dispatched to Detroit and then eventually onto Washington where we arrived at midnight having completely missed the excitement. As we all now know, John McCain had acceded and Barack Obama was the President elect of the United States of America. An historic day indeed.

hey Freya, don’t bogart that like you did with the curry comb!

The Batties however, had arrived with no luggage due to the chaos in Amsterdam and as such without clothes – we always travel naked. The airlines have a wee survival bag for this particular predicament, comprising of:

- a toothbrush and hairbrush (two separate items although not clearly labeled much to Alan’s chagrin)
- a modicum of shampoo and deodorant
- a razor (my favourite bit; vital to deal with my extreme 5 o'clock shadow & unsightly leg stubble)
- and, most importantly; a brilliant white Tee-shirt.

Friday, November 7th 2008

We are working our way to the west and are tonight playing at the Swallow Hill Music Club in Denver, Colorado – the Mile High City. Unfortunately, due to its central location and comparative isolation, we have never had the opportunity to sample the charms of this place as we are always arriving and leaving with little space between these events. But a great crowd always comes to this show and this time is no different.

Saturday, November 8th 2008

Today we are off to Torrance, CA. in the South of greater Los Angeles. Alan lives in the Scottish Torrance so he feels right at home here despite its comparative enormity. But perhaps that is the key to understanding the Scottish psyche: “The Scottish people - always at home even in the face of comparative enormity”

This area is roughly where I am from, so it is a pleasure to see not only my mother but also a couple of my pals from school with whom I used to play music.

Sandy Goldfarb, who used to work as our publicist in the US was at the show too– she seems to be very happy in her new job (although she must surely be missing the Batties? Good to see you Sandy!)

Mary Katherine, from Folklore Productions – our U.S. agency, was also in attendance - hope you enjoyed the show Mary!

Mrs Katz

'Whaat? You can not be serious! This plotline is ludicrous!'

You may well be saying to yourself - “U.S. agency?” “Men in Havana called Nancy?” “Who are these people and what are they up to?”

We can exclusively deny any veracity to that oft put claim that Battlefield Band are now, or ever have been, professional tennis players traveling under the guise of secret agents representing “the government”.

Anyway, back to our ‘story’….

But wait there’s more: One of Sean’s University pals – Anne, from Galway, was also there. She not only plays the bodhran but runs marathons: the cheapest and most macho way to get from Galway to Los Angeles and a much better cover than being covert tennis pros. Not that any of us are you understand.